Assuming, Not Becoming

A few weeks ago, Gil gave a great talk, a commentary really on the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta: Setting the Wheel of Dhamma in Motion as translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu:

What I resonate with:

The need to become aware of rigid self-identities, in my case my professional identity.
To use formal mindfulness practice as a way to clearly see this attachment, and the suffering in causes in the form of emotional and physical constriction.
To use that felt suffering as an impetus to loosen such attachment, thereby regaining freedom and peace.
Moving towards assuming professional role as needed and whenever I want, as opposed to falling prey to the tyranny of dominating professional identity.
To do this with patience and self-compassion, realizing that such bondage is the result of a lifelong habit, starting with early childhood when I was groomed to focus on scholarly achievements at the expense of other things.

This is the whole text:

“There are these two extremes that are not to be indulged in by one who has gone forth. Which two? That which is devoted to sensual pleasure with reference to sensual objects: base, vulgar, common, ignoble, unprofitable; and that which is devoted to self-affliction: painful, ignoble, unprofitable. Avoiding both of these extremes, the middle way realized by the Tathagata — producing vision, producing knowledge — leads to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding.

“And what is the middle way realized by the Tathagata that — producing vision, producing knowledge — leads to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding? Precisely this Noble Eightfold Path: right view, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration. This is the middle way realized by the Tathagata that — producing vision, producing knowledge — leads to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding.

“Now this, monks, is the noble truth of stress:[1] Birth is stressful, aging is stressful, death is stressful; sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair are stressful; association with the unbeloved is stressful, separation from the loved is stressful, not getting what is wanted is stressful. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are stressful.

“And this, monks, is the noble truth of the origination of stress: the craving that makes for further becoming — accompanied by passion & delight, relishing now here & now there — i.e., craving for sensual pleasure, craving for becoming, craving for non-becoming.

“And this, monks, is the noble truth of the cessation of stress: the remainderless fading & cessation, renunciation, relinquishment, release, & letting go of that very craving.

“And this, monks, is the noble truth of the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress: precisely this Noble Eightfold Path — right view, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration.

“Vision arose, insight arose, discernment arose, knowledge arose, illumination arose within me with regard to things never heard before: ‘This is the noble truth of stress.’ Vision arose, insight arose, discernment arose, knowledge arose, illumination arose within me with regard to things never heard before: ‘This noble truth of stress is to be comprehended.’ Vision arose, insight arose, discernment arose, knowledge arose, illumination arose within me with regard to things never heard before:’ This noble truth of stress has been comprehended.’

“Vision arose, insight arose, discernment arose, knowledge arose, illumination arose within me with regard to things never heard before: ‘This is the noble truth of the origination of stress’… ‘This noble truth of the origination of stress is to be abandoned’ [2] … ‘This noble truth of the origination of stress has been abandoned.’

“Vision arose, insight arose, discernment arose, knowledge arose, illumination arose within me with regard to things never heard before: ‘This is the noble truth of the cessation of stress’… ‘This noble truth of the cessation of stress is to be directly experienced’… ‘This noble truth of the cessation of stress has been directly experienced.’

“Vision arose, insight arose, discernment arose, knowledge arose, illumination arose within me with regard to things never heard before: ‘This is the noble truth of the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress’… ‘This noble truth of the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress is to be developed’… ‘This noble truth of the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress has been developed.’ [3]

“And, monks, as long as this — my three-round, twelve-permutation knowledge & vision concerning these four noble truths as they have come to be — was not pure, I did not claim to have directly awakened to the right self-awakening unexcelled in the cosmos with its deities, Maras, & Brahmas, with its contemplatives & brahmans, its royalty & commonfolk. But as soon as this — my three-round, twelve-permutation knowledge & vision concerning these four noble truths as they have come to be — was truly pure, then I did claim to have directly awakened to the right self-awakening unexcelled in the cosmos with its deities, Maras & Brahmas, with its contemplatives & brahmans, its royalty & commonfolk. Knowledge & vision arose in me: ‘Unprovoked is my release. This is the last birth. There is now no further becoming.'”

That is what the Blessed One said. Gratified, the group of five monks delighted at his words. And while this explanation was being given, there arose to Ven. Kondañña the dustless, stainless Dhamma eye: Whatever is subject to origination is all subject to cessation.

And when the Blessed One had set the Wheel of Dhamma in motion, the earth devas cried out: “At Varanasi, in the Game Refuge at Isipatana, the Blessed One has set in motion the unexcelled Wheel of Dhamma that cannot be stopped by brahman or contemplative, deva, Mara or God or anyone in the cosmos.” On hearing the earth devas’ cry, the devas of the Four Kings’ Heaven took up the cry… the devas of the Thirty-three… the Yama devas… the Tusita devas… the Nimmanarati devas… the Paranimmita-vasavatti devas… the devas of Brahma’s retinue took up the cry: “At Varanasi, in the Game Refuge at Isipatana, the Blessed One has set in motion the unexcelled Wheel of Dhamma that cannot be stopped by brahman or contemplative, deva, Mara, or God or anyone at all in the cosmos.”

So in that moment, that instant, the cry shot right up to the Brahma worlds. And this ten-thousand fold cosmos shivered & quivered & quaked, while a great, measureless radiance appeared in the cosmos, surpassing the effulgence of the devas.

Then the Blessed One exclaimed: “So you really know, Kondañña? So you really know?” And that is how Ven. Kondañña acquired the name Añña-Kondañña — Kondañña who knows.

How to Tame the Mind

Today, I am contemplating the Vitakkasanthana Sutta on The Removal of Distracting Thoughts. The Buddha gives us a sequential guide for how to deal with negative thoughts.

It goes like this:

When an unskillful thought arises that is connected with desire, hate, and delusion, reflect on a different object which is connected with skill. The mind can only indulge in one thought at a time. Thought substitution is the practice of substituting one negative thought with a wholesome one. Affirmations are good examples.
If that doesn’t work, ponder on the disadvantages of the unskillful thought. How much suffering does the thought cause us? In CBT, this would be looking at the unpleasant feelings that arise, and their intensity rated on a scale of 0 to 100%. The Buddha suggests a deeper investigation. Through the process of mindfulness and careful attention, one can get in touch with the physical, emotional and mental pain that get generated through the harboring of such negative thought. Seeing the consequence of lingering in the negative thought, is often times enough to convince the mind to drop it.
If that doesn’t work, turn your attention away and do not reflect on the unskillful thought. Notice this does not mean not paying attention to our thoughts, but instead deliberately choosing to ignore the thoughts after careful investigation as per the prior first two steps. Dwelling on negative thoughts for too long hardwires the brain into negativity. I have found engaging into a sensory activity to be very helpful: meditating on the breath or another object, taking a walk in nature, listening to music, getting a massage, cooking . . . these are some the ways I stop paying attention to a perseverating mind.
If that doesn’t work, reflect on the removal of the thought source of the unskillful thought. In CBT, that means engaging in mindful enquiry, getting down to the core belief underneath the thought, getting down to the root cause that started the negative thought in the first place. Core beliefs usually relate to how we think about ourselves and the outside world. Those have been ingrained since our childhood, or acquired along the way during traumatic of other life changing events. Once we recognize the falsehood of such a belief, we give the mind a chance to rewire itself, one negative thought at a time. Another applicable CBT practice is that of examining the accuracy of one’s thought based on evidence. Identifying cognitive distortions can help us discard negative thoughts.
If that doesn’t work, beat down the negative mind with positive mind ‘with clenched teeth and the tongue pressing on the palate’. I have worked with patients whose mind has been so hardwired with negativity, that nothing seems to work. Looking no further than myself, I can also think of times when a hindrance is so pronounced that my mind just won’t quit. In those cases, the mind needs to practice simply saying “no, not going there” as often as necessary, and with fierce determination.

Of course this presupposes that one is aware of the unskillful thought in the first place. Hence the need to practice mindfulness always . . .

Getting Off the Merry Go Round

Abiding by my new year’s resolution, I attended yesterday’s Sunday sit at my sangha. It felt good sitting with others. It is one thing practicing at home in the solitude of my office, and quite another to feel the collective energy of many all engaged in sitting still. Gil was not feeling well, so David Cohn gave the talk in his place. The topic was the hindrances. David regifted one of the gift he had received from Gil during a retreat, in the form of a simile. It went like this:

Imagine you are in a dark room. There is a carrousel with different horses going around, and people jumping on and off. Some horses are splendid, and everyone wants to be on them but the ride does not last. Others have a pitiful, scared look, and some folks get on them unwittingly and may get stuck riding forever. Same with those riding horses filled with aggressive, fiery energy. The carrousel keeps going round and round, and people keep jumping on and off the different horses.

Some people become aware of the unsatisfactory nature of the whole journey and started investigating the dark room. Some may look long enough, or may be fortunate enough to find a door leading to the outside. Venturing in the open air, they can see light at last and begin experience a new way of being, more peaceful and free. In the process, they meet others like minded souls. The pull from the dark room may be too strong though and some may return to the dark room with the not so merry go round.

I feel so fortunate that I can tell the dark from the light, and that I have been pulled back into practice and seeing the light many times. Synchronicity often comes along the mindful path. This morning, on the way from Caltrain station to the office, I passed by this carrousel:

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The fact did not get lost on me that I was on the outside looking in . . .

2 More Mindful Resolutions

I forgot to include those two in my New Year’s list:

To resume attending weekly sangha meeting at Insight Meditation Center. This will help me keep up my practice. The Buddha said one needs 3 things to stay on the path: Buddha (teacher), Dharma (teachings), Sangha (community). While online communities can help, they cannot replace a live sangha, and making face to face connections with other practitioners of mindfulness.

To draw from the dharma source often, every day if possible. By source, I mean reading the Buddha’s (Middle) Discourses. I like to pick a topic that is relevant to my mental state for that day. So much of contemporary mental health is watered down dharma, that it is missing many of the important subtleties of the often unacknowledged foundational wisdom. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a good example of such reductive method for mind afflictions.

7 Mindful Resolutions for the New Year

On this New Year’s Eve, I really only have one intention for the coming year: to lead my life as mindfully as possible, trusting that everything else will take care of itself. While simple to declare, such good intention is not so easy to follow. That much I know. One needs to get down to the specifics, and translate it into concrete guidelines for daily living.

Here is a list of 7 mindful habits I would like to adhere by, starting tomorrow:

Put my phone and computer away as much as possible. I have found those two items to be the single greatest impediments to my mindfulness practice. I have been spending way too much time idly surfing Facebook and news sites. If I can instead turn to mindful contemplation to deal with boredom, tiredness, anxiety, or other unpleasant states, I will be very happy!
Carve time for sitting mindfulness practice every day. At least 30 minutes (45 minutes is even better) in a single, either at home right upon waking up or in the train during my commute to work.
Stop multitasking. Remembering Sylvia Boorstein’s father’s line: “When I walk, I walk”. Multitasking is a hard habit to break, just like checking the phone. In particular, I want to change my morning routine. Instead of starting with drinking my cup of coffee while checking the news on my phone, I intend to become fully present for the task at hand: mindfully sipping from my cup, and taking in the full aroma of my favorite brew. To help, I will need to keep the phone in another room, so I do not get tempted.
Infuse my morning yoga routine with more mindfulness. Shoulder surgery prompted me to resume yoga earlier this year. This stint of yoga has already brought many physical benefits, including regained range of motion in my injured shoulder and greater flexibility. My resolution is to continue but with more attention to the breath and the movements of the body through the different poses.
Bring mindfulness to personal hygiene tasks. Washing my face, brushing my teeth, going to the bathroom, getting dressed are all opportunities to practice mindfulness of daily activities. Instead, I often rush through and resent having to engage in these mundane chores.
Turn walking moments into a meditation. Between walking indoor, whether at or at the office, and walking to and from the train during my commute, I spend two to three hours a day walking. That’s hours that can be spent doing walking meditation. I already do this to some extent, but I want to make it a more consistent practice.
Practice loving kindness. Responding to a prickly coworker with equanimity and grace. Seeing that person as a teacher, and also leaving him behind once no longer in sight. Same with others who are hard to love. ‘May you be at peace, may you be at ease, may you be well . . .’